Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
