yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
