Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
