He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
