yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
