Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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