Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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