She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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