If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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