I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I love you.
Bad choice
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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