just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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