Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
