New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
