OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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