The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
