speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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