Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
