Kiss
Puke
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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