Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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