the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
