i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
