No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
