You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
