I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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