Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
