You're completely useless in the revolution.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
