if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
