considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
oh god was she eating orange peels again
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
