It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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