He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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