I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
