we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
