Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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