Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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