She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize