Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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