..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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