i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize