I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
