I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got chris browned last night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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