Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
