I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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