He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
