You're completely useless in the revolution.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
