There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
