I could have mohawked her pubes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You have to summon your inner elephant
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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