Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
