Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
