Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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