with your own penis?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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