Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
