i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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