she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
