I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
