I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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