hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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